Meeting Notes (5/20/15) Topic: Communication
Communication
- passive aggressive behavior = Indirect hostility, procrastination, stubbornness, deliberate or repeated failure at requested that for which they are responsible, ultimate relationship killer while seemingly playing nice, guilt trips, keeping "score"
- instead: practice actually speaking your mind and asking for what you want
- don't make backhanded compliments about your partner's partners/ metamours out of jealousy
- consent- an enthusiast yes means "yes," everything else, including-- especially-- silence means "no."
- learn to say no and appreciate no, practice with your partner if you need to. This is not a gendered thing, consent is universal.
- make "I" statements instead of "you." Example) "I feel jealous when you go to our favorite restaurant with your other girls." Instead of, "you make me jealous when you do this." It places the emphasis on the fact that you own your emotions and they are yours to work with.
- set aside a dedicated time to communicate, as much as you both need
- select the best medium. Text? In person? Email? Phone? In a bar? On a walk? Some might be less pressure, but some forms of communication lose tone and create more problems (how often does a text that says, "fine." actually mean fine?
- learn to compromise
- don't expect your partner to read your mind and don't try to read your partner's mind
- talk with your metamours (your partner's partners)
- talk to a friend or a counsellor if you can
- know when a conversation should end or you should take a break and come back to it later
- passive aggressive behavior = Indirect hostility, procrastination, stubbornness, deliberate or repeated failure at requested that for which they are responsible, ultimate relationship killer while seemingly playing nice, guilt trips, keeping "score"
- instead: practice actually speaking your mind and asking for what you want
- don't make backhanded compliments about your partner's partners/ metamours out of jealousy
- consent- an enthusiast yes means "yes," everything else, including-- especially-- silence means "no."
- learn to say no and appreciate no, practice with your partner if you need to. This is not a gendered thing, consent is universal.
- make "I" statements instead of "you." Example) "I feel jealous when you go to our favorite restaurant with your other girls." Instead of, "you make me jealous when you do this." It places the emphasis on the fact that you own your emotions and they are yours to work with.
- set aside a dedicated time to communicate, as much as you both need
- select the best medium. Text? In person? Email? Phone? In a bar? On a walk? Some might be less pressure, but some forms of communication lose tone and create more problems (how often does a text that says, "fine." actually mean fine?
- learn to compromise
- don't expect your partner to read your mind and don't try to read your partner's mind
- talk with your metamours (your partner's partners)
- talk to a friend or a counsellor if you can
- know when a conversation should end or you should take a break and come back to it later
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