Poly Parenting (July 2019)

Poly Parenting

Pros to a poly household:

more people to help around the house, help raise the children, help teach good lessons 


more incomes means easier living 


more attention to the children 


creates a "village" in which to raise children 


often allows for relationship romance to end while co-parenting does not have to end 


More emotional support for everyone 


The more loving, caring adults the better


Teaches that honesty = trust 


gives examples of good communication


Blended families are not uncommon nowadays with multiple "aunts" and "uncles" who aren't necessarily related by blood


Cons to a poly household:

Religious dogma


Bigoted family or community members 


If you are strictly closeted you can't be open with your children, otherwise you put them in the position of lying to other people (which sucks a lot)


Different parenting styles sometimes clash


breakups can be doubly hard with more people and more opportunities for relationships to end (but this can also have the benefit of showing children an open and honest de-escalation of a relationship instead of a traditional messy break-up)


Being out to your family means you pretty much have to be out to everyone


Custody battles can use polyamory against you

Coming out to kids at different ages: when they are really young they don't know any different, teens are generally self-absorbed and do not care, older kids don't want to know about their parents' romantic or sex lives, and adult children are hopefully mature enough to understand it and accept it.

How/ when/ and why should you come out?

Pregnancy: to stay open or close the relationship while getting pregnant or while pregnant? If in a hierarchical relationship, to have a baby with your primary or with your secondary? What is your plan in the case of an accident? 

Resources: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201704/children-in-polyamorous-families-part-1%3famp

www.todaysparent.com/family/parenting/polyamorous-parenting-the-surprising-benefits-of-the-ultimate-modern-family/amp/

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